Move over Barbenheimer!!! There’s a new cinematic juggernaut I can’t stop obsessing over and it’s baffling me how few people are discussing it. Earlier this week, Brad Pitt premiered his latest campaign with Italian appliance company De’Longhi, known for their high-end espresso machines. (One of the machines Pitt is hawking in this commercial goes for $2,000.) The minute-long commercial is enigmatic. It’s romantic. It’s so so so stupid that it is, to borrow the name of the campaign, “Perfetto.”
Being the cinephile and the close follower of Mr. Pitt’s commercial pursuits that I am (never forget his genderless skincare ad), it felt prudent and like a good use of my one wild and precious life to break down, shot for shot, this piece of “art.” I encourage you to join me on this deep dive before going off to watch “Perfectto” yourself but, your call. Also, you’ll notice that comments are turned off, which I have to interpret as an affront and attempt to deter critical discussion.
A little background before we get started. This is Pitt’s second commercial with De’Longhi. The first minute-long commercial came out in 2021 and is set in California. Now, two years later, we are in Italia but the underwhelming music in both commercials is exactly the same.
“For me, coffee is not just a simple drink, it creates connections,” Pitt said in a statement published by People. Yeah, a connection from my gut to my butt. Alright, let’s go.
This is your standard establishing shot. We have Brad Pitt, he’s in a car and he’s wearing sunglasses. Groovy, baby. Just a guy being a dude. What’s better than that?
Alright, now he’s turning into the town. Watch out! Don’t run over those bikers. Immediately, with the folks dining in the foreground and the small narrow streets, we know we’re in a YIMBY’s wet dream of a walkable city. Life is good. And it’s better than whatever Shit Town, USA you’re in watching this on your iPhone. That’s important to remember.
A friend! And not only that, a cross-generational friend. Also, a white outfit for a coffee commercial, Brad? Brave!
Old man friend is scooping Brad some beans to make some bean soup aka coffee later. I am a little concerned there seems to be no flatware in his kitchen- only cups and glasses. All liquid diets are harsh on the system. Watch out, man!
Old man has a surprise!! Look at Brad’s little gaped mouth! Quelle surprise!
I love a little hidden drawer with coins and rocks and one, singular, mysterious letter. Also, this is a blink-and-you-miss-it detail but the man’s knuckle tats read L-O-V-E and it sort of looks like he has the Sublime sun tattooed on his hand. Very Italiano.
Brad’s suspicious of the letter... What could it say? Is he being served papers? Is something unforgivable from his past coming finally coming back to haunt him? He’s sweating. He’s ready to fucking ditch this old man, back his car out of that tiny little side street, pancake the cyclists on his way out, and drive through the night to a remote cabin in the highlands.
There’s no dialogue in this perfect film so Brad has to really act with his eyes. Not a problem for Mr. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. Look at him. He could flip a table. Who does this old man think he fucking is? Prometheus? Destroyer of worlds?
Phew! It’s for Emma! Whoever the fuck that is...
The benefit of a one-minute-long film is that you find out who Emma is immediately. She looks like she lives in the Grey Gardens of Tuscany.
Brad hands Emma the letter and in a matter of seconds, we get a masterclass in coffee commercial acting. She goes from slightly bewildered and maybe suspicious to...
...coy and flirtatious! She must know what’s in the letter, right? Or she has high hopes of what’s in the letter? This is a horny face she’s making. Horny for coffee inheritance. Also, have Brad and Emma, you know, had sex before?
Ok, so all sexual tension is immediately undercut by this look that can best be described as “Mom learns you’ve secretly paid off her mortgage with the residuals from your first album.” Brad has seemingly delivered good, but platonic news. A weight has been lifted from Emma’s shoulders.
Now that I’ve come to the personal conclusion that Brad and Emma’s relationship isn’t sexual, I’m back to caring about what’s in the letter. What made her so demure, so shocked, and now so happy?! Brad got coffee and she got a letter from the old man? Maybe he is leaving her his nice little house in the walkable city and she gets to move out of this rural hellscape? I’m sure we will find out soon...
Brad did good job. Got letter to Emma.
Enhance. Enhance. Translate from Italian. What does this letter say? It’s a couple of pages long! How did Emma get the gist of it so fast?!
Why is she thanking Brad with a hug? If you can’t kill the messenger, you can’t credit him either!
I imagine she is whispering in his ear, “I never thought I’d see the day” and Brad responds something like, “Well, open your eyes and smell the coffee, Emma. It’s here.” Or maybe she’s just saying “ciao, bella” and he is saying, “grazie mille” until the director yells cut.
Wait?! Brad’s home. Sans Emma. What was that letter about?! Are we never going to know?! Also, why does he have a guitar leaned up against a glass door like that? He’s really coming home looking like he has a hard day’s work behind him. All this man did was scoot around town in a convertible and cosplay a mailman.
Mmm, nothing like a cup full of room temperature milk that’s been sitting in the hot Italian air all afternoon waiting for me when I get home.
Brad deserves a little treat after busy day of hugging friend and delivering letter.
Long hard day. Adult milk so tasty.
I think Emma is his mother and the old man is his father and he was helping them finalize their divorce.
Alright, did I overpromise on the artistic vision of this short coffee film? That’s for you to decide over a warm glass of adult milk. But for an elaborate commercial selling bean water, there’s certainly a lot of sexy international intrigue.
I can’t wait to see where this lucrative deal takes Mr. Pitt next. Maybe we will get him braiding a child’s hair in the Canadian wilderness or riding a horse across Mexico. Coffee. Letters. Brad Pitt’s proclivity to elevate the shit he sells. None of these things know any limits. <3